ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
