I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I can't turn off my feet"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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