you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
