So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
