1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
