I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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