I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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