What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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