uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
