then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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