I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
