My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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