my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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