had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
