I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
