i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
