sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Randomize
