You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
