its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
