who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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