i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
