I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
