I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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