we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
