bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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