I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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