and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
