Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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