My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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