Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
