i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
