Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize