Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
high people should be assigned attendants
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
