chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The power of my boobs compel you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
