ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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