i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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