HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
two words: eviction party
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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