Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize