dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
