ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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