I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
