What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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