Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
