does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
