So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
