new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Couch. On fire.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
