and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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