I'm going to jail i love you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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