i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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