Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
