My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
