i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
