the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
