So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
