Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
