This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
