I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
